I was awakened for the 'n'th (somewhere between 4 and 8, its hard to remember) time last night by Griffin purring in my ear, apparently requesting attention. Since this was not the first time he woke me up, I woke up my darling husband to deal with it as Griffin actually responds to him and will remain at the foot of the bed when Sean puts him there. Since he was now awake Sean got up and went to the bathroom. In the few minuets he was gone I was overtaken by sheer panic and fear. We are about to have a baby and I have absolutely no idea how I'm going to handle having a baby. What if I'm terrible with him, what if I can't soothe him, what in God's name do you do with a baby 24 hrs a day 7 days a week for the next 18yrs (yeah yeah I know he won't be a 'baby' that long)! By the time Sean gets back I'm wide awake and freaking out. So I ask him if he is scared and nervous about the baby coming.
He says 'No'.
I say "Well I am!"
He says "What are you worried about you are going to be a great mom!"
This does nothing to ease my fears and I tell him so. So he is forced to go on, and here is where I remember why I'm totally in love with this man. He goes on to say something to the effect of:
"No matter what happens, we are in this together, it is a new and scary thing that we are doing, but we've done new and scary things before and we got through those just fine. This is the same idea, we are a team, you don't have to be perfect, I'm here to back you up, and you'll back me up when I'm not perfect."
Seriously, who comes up with that kind of wisdom at 4am?!? Well I can tell you that made me feel a whole lot better, because he was exactly correct. I may not have a whole lot of faith in myself as a parent (I've never done it before, so I'm totally untested), but I do have a lot of faith in 'us'. Having him by my side makes me feel like I/we can do anything, child rearing included.
I seriously have the best husband in the world. I feel very blessed.